“TOO OFTEN THE BAREBACK DEBATE ISN’T A DEBATE”

– While checking out TheSword.com as I was blog-surfing today, I came across Poundnstulla.com’s interview with mainstream porn star Conner Habib, in which he talks about the so-called “issue” of bareback sex.

In my experience, most pieces that refer to bareback as an “issue” oversimplify things and wind up spewing hatred and nonsense towards those of us who are into barebacking. Mr. Habib’s thoughtfulness and openness therefore came as a surprise to me, not to mention a breath of fresh air.

These lines really stood out to me:

The bottom line for me is that the freedom of the individual is the highest and purest value I can think of.  That means I don’t think my choices should be a standard which dictates the behavior of other people.[…] If someone wants to make bareback porn, trust that they’re making decisions based on their understanding of what’s right and wrong.  That doesn’t mean we have to agree.  But it’s important to acknowledge their freedom.

Well said, Conner. Well said!

As adults, we make decisions about our own lives all the time–about where we’re going to live, who we’re going to vote for, what kind of sex we’re going to have, everything. It’s popular in this day and age, especially with the internet, to moralize about others’ decisions and judge people we don’t even know for how they conduct their private lives–but it’s time for that to stop. We need to step back and remember that not only do we each have our life to live, more importantly, we should be free to do it. Let’s follow Conner Habib’s lead on this!

– Chris

“I don’t make bareback porn myself, but I think the issue is pretty complex. It brings in questions of health, ethics, community identity, and media literacy. The bottom line for me is that the freedom of the individual is the highest and purest value I can think of. That means I don’t think my choices should be a standard which dictates the behavior of other people. Since I work in porn, since I’m gay, since I grew up with an Arabic background in a tiny conservative town, I know what it’s like to have world views – often devoid of compassion – imposed on me by people who thought their morals were superior to mine.

“If someone wants to make bareback porn, trust that they’re making decisions based on their understanding of what’s right and wrong. That doesn’t mean we have to agree. But it’s important to acknowledge their freedom.

“Too often the bareback debate isn’t a debate. It’s just people throwing moral ideas back and forth. Does bareback porn really affect the health of the gay community? That’s a very similar question as “Does porn destroy relationships?” Or “Do violent movies make people commit acts of violence?” I’m not saying I know the answers to these questions, but often the people who say bareback porn is wrong and the people who defend it aren’t really educated as to its effects. They’re just assuming and creating a moral framework based on their assumptions. And the framework is often inconsistent with the rest of their ethics. So you have this extremely complex issue constantly debated without much substance entering the debate.

“I’d love for people to have a dialogue that brings in real information on the issue. Until that happens, I think it’s best we all make our own decisions and allow others to make theirs, while keeping compassion – which is the love and understanding of other people’s freedom – intact.”

–Conner Habib [via]

via TheSword