I see too many headlines in the trade mags about adult film stars taking their lives.
More often than not, they’re described as having “passed away suddenly.” That’s such a cop-out and indicative of a major problem, not just in the industry but society as a whole.
It’s only “sudden” to the outsider looking in. It’s never sudden for the victim.
I’m qualified to talk about this, not as someone in the adult industry but as someone who suffers with mental health problems – namely, depression and Complex PTSD. I have others close to me who suffer from the same, as well as bipolar disorder, suicidal tendencies, and more.
I can tell you that one of the most common symptoms of mental illness is silence. Sure, everyone mentions the feelings of hopelessness and sadness, unwillingness to join in social situations – yes, those of us who battle mental illness experience some form of all these things — but more often than not, we don’t reach out, we don’t talk about these things.
And more often than not, our friends, our lovers, our colleagues, don’t reach out, and don’t ask about these things. We all feel it’s not the right time, not the right place, or an undue burden to simply ask “Hey, how are you doing,” and it’s an undue burden to say “Hey, I’m feeling upset or down.”
Like the song says, “silence, like a cancer grows.” And from the side of the depressive, I can tell you that the more you stay quiet, the more you internalize the issues of what’s bothering you, and eventually you reach that critical point, where you can’t bear to hold on to that internalization any more.
And we cope with that internalization in destructive ways. Addictions. Drugs, booze, spending, sex… Yes, sex is a coping mechanism, so I guess it’s not surprising to hear about depression amongst our ranks.
But consider the porn set as a workplace, just like any other. If you’re a regular employee, you make friendships, you have a network of people you enjoy seeing and talking to. I’d urge you to reach out to those workplace connections. And here in the nether regions of the web, you have social media friendships and apps that can offer you low-cost professional counseling help.
Talk. It’s the first step towards getting healthy.
