Morality is a funny thing. I’m so used to being told that I’m bad, evil and going to hell by the radical right, it just seems to roll off me like I’m coated in Rain-X and it’s a light shower. It doesn’t even bother me. So when some members of the Gay community — even barebackers with their own questionable place to stand on a position of greater morality — begin to question whether I might be “good” or “bad,” one is left with a little Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged in your soul. Sometimes I feel like the slut about to be stoned. Nonetheless, it’s not anything like the OTHER 99 PERCENT or a goodly chunk of the unemployed — of which I am one. We attempt to find work, fill out countless forms online, write, rewrite, rewrite, recast, alter, edit, reformat, update and rewrite our resumes again only to go on job interviews that look promising then some fucktard in the 1 percent decides his gold parachute needs more diamonds and platinum encrusting so he decides to announce a hiring freeze.
Sex is one of those things in which we have completely under our control. It’s not the color of our skin, our birthplace or luck. Sex isn’t a roll of the die. It is a choice whether we engage with a stranger or date for a time. We have to remove the morality from fucking. It just simply doesn’t work. What does is personal accountability. Now you can run to a dictionary and splice terms with me but I’ll give you my basic lesson difference between responsibility and accountability. Responsibility is being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations to another person, group or entity. Accountability is being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations to oneself. We need not rely on anyone else. The choices are our own. With sex, you are accountable only to oneself. If you’re fucked up enough to turn your back on someone holding a loaded gun who swears they won’t fire it into your backside, then you need to have your head examined. Hate me if you want, but there’s a lesson to be learned here. Better you read and learn than fuck and regret.
Story courtesy of Mark Bannister. Read more from Mark on his site iBlastInside.com
giving it lardge on the Soul brother XXX.
Cristian still misses the point. Morality has been removed from a great deal — not just fucking. I don't believe it's moral to foreclose on people's homes or lay people off. Yet we somehow accept the "business" decision.
I make my choice and I am accountable. I don't blame anyone or hold anyone else responsible for what I do. If I leave a place and end up with an infection or bacteria or whatever, I don't get pissed off that they didn't wash their ass well enough before I ate them out.
I chose my risk and I live with it. But we somehow choose a set of blinders with other stuff. Why?
go on Champ
kobra he's giving them holes the full monty…eeeeeaaah cowboy
hello add me?
I had a question for you Mark, but Facebook wouldn't let me message you. Also, I'd send you a "friend" request but I've been blocked by U know who! Bruce
Really guys? Sucking someone’s dick and THEN after YOU’VE came, you want to ask or know of someone’s status? Get real. . You protect yourself as best as you know how. You are the one responsible for you. If sucking dick ran suck a risk for contracting HIV ..then most of the free world would have it by now. No such thing as a guarantee in an imperfect world. The false sense of securities.. those ya might want to take a look at. Anyway, diabetes and heart disease are killing folks quicker than anything.
Had an issue in 2010 where a bottom failed to tell me his status until after the sex. Ok, we just did oral, but i was all over that cock. So I was pretty upset that I sucked a dirty dick. He did swallow my cum, but I didn’t his, but that didn’t matter. It was wrong. I should have ha the right to allow that encounter – not him! I’m safe, with no infection. But it was wrong!
**I love to bareback, but I believe it can and should be done safely! Without any one spreading diseases.***
I find the problem you describe is sometimes worse amongst other gay men. I do not conceal my HIV status or that a condom will not be used. The choice is his and it is a decision based on full disclosure by me.
I have been accused of killing others by putting my dick in a willing but. My response is that I did my moral duty in telling him. I am not responsible for protecting him. He should operate under the assumption that every man who tells him he is negative is lying if his goal is to remain negative.
I am responsible for me and no one else. These guys want what does not exist, sex without risk. I choose sex without artifice. I choose to leave my low risk, undetectable viral load sperm inside his willing hole or his unknown sperm in mine.
Agreed with Christian completely. I think both parties should, if they’re going to take the risk, be willing participants. Otherwise it’s an entirely different thing.
Why should we “remove morality from fucking”? I’ve never understood iBlastInside’s concept of this. Why pick fucking as the activity to conviniently remove morality from? Why not anything else? Why not remove morality from driving your car and just mow down any pedestrian that takes your fancy?
Why is “fucking” such an exalted activity that no concepts of civility or ethics or moral standards apply? I’ve written my thoughts on this (and iBlastInside) on my blog some time ago here: http://cristianknox.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/good-barebacker.html