Male-On-Male Blowjobs Are No Longer Gay

Courtesy of Horatio Huxton for Vice.

Practically every sports game nowadays is chock-full of excessive incidents of man love: orgiastic celebrations, tender caresses, ass slaps, the passionate locking of lips. I recently heard some talking head gesticulating on daytime TV that this kind of thing in sport has meant that heterosexual men can now get away with loads of things that used to be termed “gay” back in the day, like holding each other’s dicks as they go down a water slide together.

So can dudes now snog each other in the club without being called gay? Am I a homophobe to even question that? What the fuck is going on? I just don’t know. I figured an expert was needed to answer my questions, so I hunted down the most logical solution to my conundrum: the gay professor from Gilligan’s Island. Well, at least the man who played the gay professor from Gilligan’s Island on the reality version of the show, Eric Anderson. He actually is a gay professor and he gained his PhD by researching gay people in sport, so he’s the perfect guy to talk to here. We chatted about about everything from Gilligan’s Island to when it doesn’t have to be gay to give another man a blowjob.

Vice: You were America’s first openly gay high school coach, right? Dr. Anderson: This is true, yes. In 1993 I came out of the closet as an openly gay high school coach in the OC in Southern California. It was a very conservative period of time, and I was at a conservative school. It didn’t go over very well. My runners loved me, but we experienced extreme violence from the [American] football team. Eventually, one of my runners was brutally beaten. He was beaten so bad the football player broke his pallet. All because he ran for the gay coach. I wrote about this experience in an autobiography, Trailblazing: The True Story of America’s First Openly Gay High School Coach. And it was also this experience that sent me back to university to earn a PhD studying gay athletes.

You were on the Gilligan’s Island reality TV show in the US. How did they cast you in that? I heard you didn’t get on with one of the billionaires. Yes. The premise of the original program was to show that people from various walks of life could learn to get along. One character was the professor. He was this smartly dressed man who could make or invent anything. Well, anything but a boat. He was always calm, well-spoken, and smartly dressed – but he paid no attention to the beautiful women on the island. So clearly he was gay. Well, that’s the premise the producers of the reality TV version of it saw. So I became the gay professor in the reality TV show about it.

OK, so now I’m going to get on to the heavy hitting questions. In your opinion, how is masculinity changing? Is the meaning of the word “gay” changing before our very eyes? It’s changing tremendously fast. And it’s changing for the better. Heterosexual men are much less afraid of doing things that were once highly feminized, and therefore stigmatized. Today heterosexual men can share emotions, dress well, have gay friends, be tactile with their mates, and all of this can be done without raising suspicion that they are gay. This is in sharp contrast to the 1980s.

Could you perhaps give some examples, or offer me a list of things that heterosexual guys can now get away with that they never used to able to back in the heady days of heterosexual masculinity?

Yeah, sure, I can list a few. Today’s men can:

1) Wear pink. 2) Use facial products and encourage moisturizing. 3) Use “man bags,” which over the years have gone from one-strap backpacks to basically purses. 4) Go on “man dates” where they go to dinner and a movie with a friend; they can now sit next to that friend too! 5) Men are allowed to cry. 6) They are allowed to actually say to each other, “I love you, man.” 7) In youth circles, they are allowed to kiss each other in the way I described. 8) They are allowed to do threesomes – two guys and a girl – where there is interaction between the guys. These are very common among university men.

Threesomes with two guys and one girl? Really!? Yeah, it is common among the younger generation that now goes to university. It is something that would have “made one gay” not too long ago.

And you mentioned that males are now allowed to kiss each other? Is it now acceptable for males to kiss and fondle in open without actually being gay? I find that kind of hard to believe. Yes. Now many of your readers won’t believe this, but at least within university culture, heterosexual men kiss each other, on the lips, as a part of their bonding mechanisms. A same-sex kiss has become desexualised, and it’s a way to show a friend that he’s made it to your inner-circle. It started out in sport, primarily football, but it’s moved down into mainstream youth culture. It’s not a greeting kiss. It’s mostly a drunken embrace while clubbing or partying, but it certainly didn’t happen a few years ago, and it’s further proof of the decreasing nature of cultural homo-hysteria. What I mean by that is that we are less obsessed with coding things as gay and straight. Decreasing cultural homo-hysteria therefore gives heterosexual men (and women) much more gendered freedom – and of course it’s good for sexual minorities too. This has also helped gay athletes come out in slowly but steadily increasing numbers.

How far do you think this “desexualization” of young people will go? I’m a sociologist, not a prophet. But I do think that as cultural homo-hysteria continues to decrease, it will give men the ability to identify however they want, sexually, regardless of their behaviors. I think this will make it easier for best male friends to be partners, while seeking casual sex with women, and that it will allow younger men to give each other blowjobs, without it necessarily homosexualizing them.

Man-on-man blowjobs without being gay? Yes. As I said, I’m not a prophet, but I can see that happening.

Wow.

5 comments
  1. Well all I know is, when a man gets horny, and has to fulfill his needs, he’ll suck a dick, fuck an ass, kiss another man, and return to do it again, once that urge hits him.

  2. Interesting. I really don’t see why someone should be labeled gay just for sucking a dick or fooling around with guys. It’s not a big deal really – just “guy stuff” to get off.

  3. Unfortunately, many gays like many straights remain mired in the myth that an individual is either 100% gay or 100% straight and bisexuality is just gay in the closet, but that stance comes from a place of ignorance of modern psychology. The “de-identification” of orientation accomplishes a number of things and all of them are positive for mental affect. Perhaps the most important one is a bit ironic. Straight men can finally have permission to enjoy their occasional same-sex play and in so doing that builds in not only tolerance but acceptance of bisexual and same-sex oriented men and the ways they choose to express themselves sexually. An offshoot of that is that the bareback community would likely become less demonized by the ignorance and fear out there. Remember that tolerance does not mean acceptance. De-labeling has the potential to bring acceptance which is what we’re really after. The second benefit of de-labeling is that same-gender-oriented men would no longer have to call themselves gay, which more than a few see still carries a stigma. The more we do NOT to square off over sexual orientation and labels the better. There is no value in belonging to any club if doing so excludes others.

  4. i think this is a crock of shit if your going to be gay why hide it if your afraid of what others are gonna think its cause you dont like your self my dad is the most racest predigest person i know and does not like gay people but when i came out about 10 years ago he loved me and still does so you would be suprised throw out the dirty clothes and kick that closet door down !!!!

  5. Psychologically speaking, a person’s sexual identity and sexual practices DO NOT go hand in hand. Boys have jacked with each other and even jacked each other off and it’s “no homo” as they see it. A lot of STR8 men know men give better blow jobs than women and have a mouth buddy, but do not consider the act as evidence of homosexuality. For many men, it’s just sex. The Kinsey Scale and subsequent research suggests that men are inherently bisexual as opposed to polarized as 100% STR8 or 100% gay. Therefore bromantic sex need not label a person. The “delableization” of sexual orientation would actually produce greater understanding over time.

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