Hope you all had a wonderful week. I would like to thank you all for the poZitive response I had to last weeks blog post—much appreciated, big hugZ.
As promised, I’m biting the bullet on yet another biggy: love and sex, and how they go alongside each other, though maybe not always…
As you probably figured out by now I’m a bit of a tinker (that’s “Irish” for thinker, as an ex taught me, hehe), and these weekly blog writings have been really good for me as a way of gathering my thoughts, which don’t always come in the correct order. (I was in a German porn scene a long time ago. It was a group scene and the director was screaming madly at all of us in broken English, as apparently we came in the wrong order, hehe.)
So: love. What is it? I’ve been in love three times in my life. The first one was fifteen years ago. That’s a long time ago and I’m still not over it; what a hopeless romantic I am. We dated for five years, after which we kinda grew apart from each other sexually and became good friends instead, like brothers, purely platonic.
London was expensive so we kept living together. It was hard at first but we grew accustomed to it. A couple of years later, while still living together, we were both dating different guys and at the same time doing porn on the side. By now some of you might have figured out who this is… (hehe).
My second and third boyfriends, although they were really nice guys and the sex was great, I couldn’t quite connect with as I’d done with my first. It just wasn’t the same and I felt I was being unfair towards them both in many ways, comparing them with my ex. They also found it a bit difficult, which is totally understandable as I was still living with my ex.
My current situation, in many ways, I see as ideal. I live with my first love and we are the very best of friends in the world, soulmates and life partners in so many ways (apart from in the bedroom). And although we share the same amazingly big and beautiful bed, there is no hanky panky and there isn’t any need or desire from either of us for it. We know we are there for one another, emotionally, financially and in any other ways—just not sexually. It’s a purely platonic relationship. We can than have sex with whoever we want, whenever we want; I seem to have a bit of a higher sex drive, lol (if you haven’t realised this by now). And there are no jealousy issues whatsoever. It’s the best of both worlds.
We gay men live such strangely different lives than our straight counterparts. We have the freedom to make up our worlds as we go along, and the way we create our relationships with our friends and lovers, etc., it’s truly amazing. We should really take advantage of this, I think, as long as you are open with one another and say what you feel honestly. That’s the best way forward because secrets create hard feelings and bad relations etc.
Love is in the air but lust is, too. They don’t always go together. It’s like in ancient Greece, where they had two words for love (or even more if you look into it further): agape for strong brotherly (platonic) love, and eros for lustful love.
This reminds me to mention I’m working on a little short film called “agapEros,” which is a short reflection of these thoughts and my life, in a way, the combination of the two loves. I’m hoping that it will be accepted for viewings in the Berlin Porn Film Festival this October (fingers crossed). It features scenes shot on the hot Newport beach in the States, as well as footage of a few scenes from Treasure Island Media, with special permission from Paul Morris (many thanks!).
Apart from that, this week has been kinda quiet. Dino went back to LA to direct some stuff over there and I miss him very much, as usual. But me and Liam are already planning our trip to Berlin for the Porn Film Festival and hopefully to film a few hot scenes for Treasure Island Media.
Oh, and I got two loads in my mouth in the office toilets today. When I sat down between two young interns, I noticed cum in my beard; no doubt I stank of sex, blush, lol.
I went to see two naughty, hot muscle guys on Saturday. They’d been up playing all night so they were a bit tired, bless, but I shot two loads in one of their bums.
Also had my hot photographer friend pop over to do a photoshoot in the basement, but the fun really began when the model left hehe.
HUGS – Anton
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