THERE’S A DISTINCT DIFFERENCE || A Stealther’s Point Of View

By Mark Bentson

It pains me to find Cristian Knox in a bit of a row with me over stealthing. He offers his feedback to my previous entry with his “Spot the Difference” game, in which he compares me to a purse snatcher, a mugger, a bad repairman, etc.

Cristian misses the point so very much.

  1. I don‘t wander the streets seeking people to stealth. Quite the contrary. I make the distinct point of stating I invite these people into my lair or fuck them at an adult bookstore or sex club. This isn’t some miscellaneous place. It isn’t rape. The sexitself is quite consensual. Both parties agree to the sex, unlike the mugger where one party doesn’t wish to be robbed but the other does.
  2. A repairman coming into your home to fix plumbing or some other aspect (in his second example) is an implied contract or an actual contract. As I so explicitly stated, no such contract exists between the two of us engaging in sex. I never explicitly agree to engaging in safer sex.
  3. Cristian further makes the assumption that I am the source of any exposure ofdisease. This is a further problem that condom Nazis often assume about allbarebackers. We are all puss-filled, infected zombies full of the worst diseases with intent on bugging everyone around us. This simply isn’t so.

But by the same token, Cristian did remind me of the fable, The Scorpion and The Frog.

A scorpion asks a frog to carry him across the pond.

“But I am afraid you will sting and kill me,” the frog says.

“Of course I won’t,” the scorpion replies. “I cannot swim. If I sting you, you will sink and we both will die.”

The frog thinks about this and finally agrees, figuring it’s safe enough. The scorpion climbs on the amphibian’s back and the two begin the journey across the pond.

Halfway across, the frog suddenly feels the sharp prick of the scorpion’s stinger. As he feels the poison begin to numb him and his body slow, the frog asks, “Why?”

“Alas,” the scorpion says. “It’s in my nature to sting.”

They both sink into the depths of the pond and drown.

I am a top. I am driven by a force I cannot describe to breed. You don’t want it, don’tfuck with me.

Click here to see a stealthing scene cut from Max Sohl’s UP THE GUT. 

What’s your opinion on Stealthing? Do you agree with Mark or is Cristian right to take a stance?  Share your thoughts in the comments below. 
  1. I find that people into “stealth” are almost always (or always) part of the “bug-chaser/”gift”-giver” scene. They make excuses for their stereotypical behavior. Personally I walk a very fine line. I’m HIV+, only fuck with other poz men, and even engage in “bareback talk” before and during sex. However, it ONLY turns me on if my partners are turned on by the same things that turn me on. Anything on the sly, or unconsentual is crossing a line that I refuse to cross. “Gay men with pus” is a great metaphor for those who refuse to have ANY respect for anything other than their own selfish desires. And the term “selfish” is the key-word in all of this.

  2. Your argument became moot on point number one. Sex and all aspects of it must be consesual. It you and i agree to have sex but i’m into controlled breathing and you’re not; then i turn around and choke the shit out of your ass till you pass out just so i can get my nut, i’m sure you wouldnt be too happy.

    Another poster put it best. If your sex partner asked for a condom to be warned you have two options a) decline because you are into bb or b) wear the condom because you agreed and continue to wear it till the deed is done. As a fellow top who loves to bb, i think your reasoning make you look like a fucking moron.

  3. I do agree with “craigy“ ,when you do bare, you accept the risk and that mean you’r mentaly stong enought (or at least close ) for the consequence. stealthing is too choose is the other if he is strong enought (and that is if your half human (but you do stealthing, so your not lol))……..that bullshit i lost a really good friend because of that, he was only 20 …….. well besause im pretty sure i dont have this son of bitch who poz him for his own fun im asking to you “stealthwhatever“ do you think it was worth it? his life,your pleasure! (*sorry for the mistake ,im french it not my primary language i did not want to butcher your language lol*(the other question is still there and they have no lol for it))

  4. If you’re looking for bareback sex, there are tons of guys out there that will be into that scene to. When you stealth someone you’re just being selfish. Raw sex is hot but you should both know that’s what you are going to do. I stealthed a partner and it got me kicked out of bed and nearly lost me a fuck buddy. I like BB sex, but tricking someone into is not something I’m ever going to do again.

    1. I’m glad you learned your lesson. Personally I’d never have the desire to do that in the first place. I only get off when my partners like everything I’m into.

  5. I was a teenager when I got it, and i made a conscious descision to play bareback, BUT, I only play with other poz men.. I do not play with bug chasers but I don’t condemn anyone…people have their weird fetishes. I do also think that people should automatically assume the other person is poz and act accordingly. I know I am poz so can be bred like a bitch in heat >:)

  6. It’s bit sick and no defense for it, if you want to breed then be honest about it. Plenty of guys out there willing to take your load.
    If someone asks you to put a condom on then you take it off without them knowing, you have no right, you have agreed to have safer sex by putting on the condom in the first place. Your doing nothing but give barebackers a bad name as you have suggested.
    Your being selfish and show little concern to the possibility of infecting an innocent guy with an incurable disease.
    I hope you get caught out done day and get the justice you deserve, either being beaten very badly or prosecuted, which you can in the UK luckily! Hope it’s the same in the US!

  7. Stealthed by a fucking hot poz pig barebacker in 2001…he knocked me put on G after when I wouldn’t let him fuck me raw. Never done G so didn’t know what I was taking…woke up naked in his bed hours later. Didn’t understand what’d happened to me till months later chatting online with a guy in the smoking fetish chat room who explained bug chasing/gift giving to me for first time. Luckily I was tweaking hard so I was instantly reborn a chaser till I tested poz years later.
    Proud Poz Pig

    1. Good for you, honesty is hot. It’s not something to be ashamed of. I remember getting fucked by a young black guy a few years ago. He used a condom, which burst with the size of his dick and the aggressiveness of the fuck, and when we were done, it was pushed down around the base of his dick and I realized I had just taken his load. It scared me because I didn’t know him, but at the same time, it was what I really wanted. I need to be bred by a man. Getting fucked with a condom is pointless.

  8. I’m not going to lie. I enjoy your posts, even the ones about stealthing. But it is still unconsensual sex – That’s my opinion rather than being a judgmental observation. Your use of the fable of the scorpion and the frog, while instructive, assumes that one’s nature is essential and never-changing. Note the frog’s disbelief at being stung – It implies the lack of consensus in the act. It was not what the frog signed up for and there was an implicit belief that even though it knew what the scorpion was capable of, there was an agreement to a different outcome.

    1. The whole fable is to understand the nature of oneself. The scorpion was a predator. The frog, despite knowing the nature of the scorpion, chooses to believe the lie that the scorpion tells. Look from the other perspective.

  9.  Wait – don’t we call shoving your cum into another’s body against their will ‘rape’?

  10. If you are HIV+, you are morally obligated to disclose that fact before you fuck someone.  If someone hands you a condom, you are obligated to wear it.  Taking a condom off mid fuck without disclosing is wrong.  

    1.  Not technically correct.  YOu don’t have to disclose, but if that person gets infected by you, and you didn’t disclose, then you’re legally at fault, and under UK law at least, guilty of GBH.

  11. I don’t know about the legalities in the USA, but here in the UK, if you are HIV+  you fuck with someone HIV-, and they become infected, you have commited GBH under the offences against the persons act.  I recently blogged about this.

    If someone hands you a condom, and wants you to use it, if you don’t, then provided no infection takes place, you’ve not broken the law, but you have morally done wrong.  Of course, it could then be said, who needs morals?

    Personally, I think it depends on the environment.  1 on 1, i always openly insist on bareback.  If its in a dark room, then all gloves are off.

  12. I think Mark Benston is a fucking idiot. He should not be going around spreading HIV to people that are unknowingly setting their-selves up for it. Its one thing to be stupid and not protect yourself, but it is a far more disgusting and vile thing to put others at risk for your own person enjoyment. 

    1. I am fucking, but I am not an idiot. You make an ass of yourself assuming that I’ve changed a bottom’s status. I haven’t. If you want to secure yourself against any risk, it’s very simple: Don’t fuck. And especially don’t hook up anonymously. I have no obligation to use a condom.

      1.  What about the bottom? What if he actually hands you one, and asks you to use it.  You’re obliged then.  IF you dont wanna fuck with a condom, go find someone else.

        Even a devout advocate of bareback sex such as me, isn’t happy with the idea of destroying a condom which the bottom has specifically asked you to wear. 

        I see this debate raging for a long period of time.

        1. I agree Josh! Mark cannot say,l “If you want to secure yourself against any risk, it’s very simple: Don’t fuck.” People use condoms in order to protect themselves (YES, Mark we all know that condoms are not a 100% guarantee) and you are out there slicing the tips off of them for your own selfish benefit. Who are you to say that one cannot enjoy anonymous sex without barebacking? Just as you have no obligation to use a condom, I have no obligation NOT to wear a condom and you as human being should oblige to that. You create the bad image for gay people. We should be taking care of our own community. 

          1. Josh, when have we ever taken care of our own? Seriously? This is all about sport fucking and not about caring and love and a relationship. You want to come to a sex club or an adult bookstore and fuck anonymously, don’t expect me to adhere to some rules you set in your mind. You want it to be trustworthy and safe, then do it at home and get to know the guy first. 

        2. No. I’m not. In the U.S., a legal contract occurs when there’s a “meeting of the minds.” I’d have to agree and state so verbally or indicate so. One might argue that taking the condom is an implied agreement. However, in my mind, it would never be such.

  13. Simple and to the point.  Run with the big dogs (as you have made that choice) or stay the fuck on the porch.  I watched that scene and that dude knew exactly what he was doing, with his cock inside the baggie, and when he pulled it off.  The choice was his.  Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own choices and move on and make whatever choice comes next.

  14. If you purposefully deceive the person you are fucking by taking a condom off mid way through fucking his ass you, and there by expose him to HIV or otherwise go agains the pre arranged agreement – you are morally disgusting and should be put in prison, this kind of behavior is totally unacceptable and reprehensible.  If you are having a “scene” with someone who has agreed to this scenario then by all means seed his hole.  

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