This week has been a bit quiet in regards to sex. I did have a hot, horny, skinny, young Indian boy over for a few cum-relieving sessions, but mainly I’ve been painting.
I’m a bit down, actually. The summer is over, my soulmate is not back until the end of October, and my architecture job is a bit dull (designing dog kennels, lol).
So to get some emotions out, I’ve been doing things like painting a lot and printing out a photo of my favourite model Roland for my wall. I also started planning a music video for an artist I’ve done two others for. We’re hoping to film this one on the 13th October, which will be a lot of fun, hehe.
I’ve been listening constantly to an awesome Swedish group I discovered called The Knife. Dark electro pop, which I love—it brings back memories from Sweden, hehe, me and my hot straight friend going to crazy rave parties all over the capital and surrounding landscape. One morning, I remember, we found ourselves in a field in the middle of nowhere, having missed the last bus back to town. We found a sheltered bus stop and he lay down on it with his head in my lap (wow!), fell asleep like a baby, and I was fucking rock-hard, massaging my cock thoroughly pants next to his ear, lol. Unluckily for me, though, the bus came before I did, lol.
There are so many things I want to do in life. Some people say I do many things already, but it always feels like I’m missing something, that I’m not doing enough; I want to do and experience and create and try so many things, and one lifetime just isn’t enough. Sometimes I feel like I’m about to explode with sadness, other times with happiness and joy, but always there are so many things to see and do. Life is so exciting, so extraordinary, there are so many amazing people I would love to meet and to work with (Gaga is not one of them, sorry… lol).
I passed by another handsome, young, homeless person the other day. I didn’t have anything on me but stopped to talk with him a bit, asked how he was doing, etc. He said he was thirsty and asked if I had some coins for him to save up for a bed for the night. I didn’t but, after passing by the bus stop, I jumped off and went back to a small shop where I bought him a Ribena juice, a packet of crisps, a sandwich, and some cookies. He was very happy to see me again.
I’m editing photos tonight. I want to create beautiful things and emotions—sad is beautiful also. What for? Beauty doesn’t need a purpose; it’s timeless. I want to create simple pieces that can be enjoyed for a long time. Not just simple stylistic or currently controversial pieces like everyone else seems to be doing. Nowadays, to be truly unique, one has to go back to the basics and create something that one loves. For me, that means striving for perfected beauty in everything I try to do. I will inevitably fail, as nothing is as pure and beautiful as our mind wants it, but that’s irrelevant. It’s the effort and the aim that counts: the art is in the imperfections. So I hope, at least, as god knows I’m not perfect, hehe.
Anyhow, what shall I have for dinner? Sausages?
Oh, and I also met a clothes designer who is going to help me on some of my video projects. Awesome!
Hugs – Anton
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