The State of California, along with its hard-earned taxpayer’s dollars, spent the last two days in disarray after realizing that Treasure Island Media (TIM) will not be settling the charges that were brought up against them. Ms. Kathryn Woods, Cal/OSHA’s attorney led the hearing by explaining to the judge that the official name for the title in question was “The 1000 Load Fuck” but that she was going to refer to it as “The 1000 Load” due to the fact that it was a “naughty word”. Ms. Woods continued her legal practices against TIM’s General Manager Matt Mason by questioning him for five grueling hours.
“It’s taken two days and we haven’t even gotten through two witnesses,” states Mr. Mason, as he infers that the state’s tactic is to move as slowly as possible with the hopes that the judge die of old age and that the hearing is unable to finish. However, this judge won’t have it and tells Ms. Woods to speed it up.
As frustration grew for Ms. Woods, she soon developed a liking for the word “fuck” and couldn’t seem to stop using it. In a “show-and-tell” demonstration of the company’s website, Ms. Woods came across a new word, “FUCKTARD”, that she immediately fell in love with. (By this point, you can also tell that the judge has made a connection with Ms. Woods and the word “FUCKTARD”.)
This hearing isn’t like an ordinary hearing. At one point, the lights were dimmed and we watched a scene from the popular TIM flick “The 1000 Load Fuck.” The only things missing were popcorn and some lube. At the end of the showing, the DVD was defined as “Exhibit 1”, which, in actuality, was a pirated copy of the movie, created by the State of California.
This case has been on the books for over 3 years and TIM’s attorney Karen Tynan is looking forward to presenting TIM’s defenses and shooting holes in the state’s case.
Other spectators of the hearing included Mark McGrath and Adam Cohen, who were openly bragging about their priority seating on the first-class airline tickets from the Los Angeles non-profit office of The AIDS Healthcare Foundation. The AHF has a deep connection with Treasure Island, as they sell TIM movies in their retail stores to make money to fight the war against HIV. However, a press release was sent by Mr. McGrath (while he sat in the front row of the courtroom) stating that the AIDS Healthcare Foundation will be filing yet another complaint against Treasure Island early next week. He must have felt very proud of himself for, only moments after pushing send on his mobile device, he felt it was time to put his feet up, relax, and delight on a luscious organic strawberry (see photos below).
The day came to completion by setting a date in late April to continue the case that could go on for another year. Treasure Island Media intends to fight Cal/OSHA and the AHF by not backing down as a culture being forced to move underground. A statement by Paul Morris is expected to be released by Treasure Island Media early this week