Chronicles of a London CumPig || The Young Gay Guilt

Hey, horny boys and randy men (hehe).

Hope you’ve had an awesome week so far. Mine has been good and, although I deleted Grindr, Gaydar, and most other chat up apps from my iPhone, my sex life been very busy as usual, lol.  I met an amazingly hot couple from dudesnude (a French and an English lad), who politely asked me to cum over and rim their holes good for them. I happily obliged and, after bb’ing the Brit lad, I managed to put a johnny on and fucked the neg French lad after rimming and gently fingering his hairy, muscular bum crack–sweet !!! I shot a big load in the Brit boy’s eager, smooth hole while his bf was holding it open for me, hehe; happy sharing as they say!

The day after that I had a hot Brazilian boy pay me a visit, and after two horny fucks and cumloads in his greedy, hairy bum we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Anyhow, this week I wanted to talk about when I was younger, and how we discover and establish our sexual identities. I moved from home when I was 15, to a town next to my small home town, to join a dance school. After finding a nice little student accommodation close to the local train station, I was eager to discover my surroundings and entered the train station toilets, a series of dingy looking toilet cubes with random holes in the walls and stinky urinals with graffiti.

I was very innocent back than and couldn’t figure out why someone would want to make holes in the toilet walls, until one day when I was sitting there and a man entered the cubicle next to mine. Suddenly I was intrigued; it had been such a long time since I seen a mans penis. I eagerly watched as the man pulled down his trousers and pulled out his hairy cock. To my surprise he started to wank it. It got massive, and then he leaned over and looked through the hole right at me. I got terrified and quickly pulled up my pants (rock hard cock, of course) and rushed out of the toilets.

Oh, the guilt set in. I couldn’t stop thinking of the guy in the toilet. I avoided the station–couldn’t look at it without getting a hard-on and at the same time feeling so guilty. It took me a month of intense wanking before I entered the station toilets again, this time more mentally prepared for what to expect.

I was alone this time, now reading all the messages on the walls, mainly telephone numbers and times to meet, etc. I pulled out my cock standing in the piss stinking urinal and I wanked it hard. I had never been so horny before–well, maybe once or twice, hehe (but that’s for another post…). After I spunked my load I left, feeling more guilty than ever. This on-and-off cycle of guilt and intense pleasures went on for a year, during which I sometimes wanked next to some horny men and sometimes was alone. I was too shy to touch or be touched back then, which has obviously changed, lol.

But where my straight school friends bragged and felt happy about their sexual encounters and adventures, I only felt guilt! This obviously is not good: sex is not something we should have to feel guilty about, and if we live in a society that creates this atmosphere, aren’t we obliged to try to change it?

Anyhow, thinking back on it now, when I moved to Stockholm at 16 I would go to the stinky public urinals in the basement of the central station, waiting and hoping that there would be some horny guy wanting to suck me off. Then as soon as the older man finished me off and was licking my cum off his beard, I would rush off as quickly as I could, guilt stricken and ashamed–only to be back there a few weeks later wanting more.


It has an almost nostalgic feel about it, a perverted innocence that somehow is really horny, and maybe if I had felt “fine” and not guilt ridden it wouldn’t have been as exciting then, and still is after all these years, hehe.

Public sex rocks!

Anyhow, those are my thoughts for this week.

They showed my KUK 1 at Fringe!, the gay film and arts festival in London, and the audience seems to have liked it, which is always good! 😉 I was asked to show it at a film festival in Israel, too. I think I need to make more short films, hehe.

Hope you all have an awesome week!



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  1. I always enjoy reading your articles, Anton. However, this week’s one is particularly good. Your recent encounters were very horny, but your account of your experiences as a younger person were particularly interesting. I can identify myself, when I was younger, in your feelings of attraction and guilt. It took me a long time to conquer my guilt complex. Being a Catholic, at the time, didn’t help. Glad to relate that’s all behind me now. Thanks and best wishes, Anton.

    1. Hey Daniel, and thanks for tuning in to me random scribbles of sexual encounters and general thoughts etc, much appreciated, yeah I think a lot of us when younger are struggling with the nagging guilt issues, it’s such a shame, as things really should be made easier, I don’t know what it’s like nowadays growing up, but hopefully it’s a bit easier. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, hugs anton

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